The 1980s were a wild time in the music industry and the pop culture that music created around it. MTV was in its pre-Real-World era and was actively breaking entire bands’ careers by showcasing music videos to their massive audience.
Starting in the summer of 1981, MTV revolutionized how people connected to the music they listened to, as suddenly, music videos were now an essential part of a record’s release strategy. The benefits of this were threefold as it gave the artists more content to share, a new visual medium to tell the story of the music itself, and often gave us timeless works of “art” that resonate across generations (yes, I’ve even met a few Gen-Z’s who bust many of the songs on this list out during Friday Night Karaoke).
Because further to this last point, much of the staying power of these music videos was entirely due to the silliness and cheesiest of the videos that may have seemed culturally impactful and avante-garde at the time of their creation but now seem a bit absurd. And while some tracks, like Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It,” still work their way into 2023’s zeitgeist and are still commonly heard today, other tracks, like Hasselhoff’ “Jump in My Car,” come off as cheesier these days than ever before.
So let’s dive into the short list of the ten cheesiest videos of the 1980s, uncovering some forgotten gems and walking down memory lane of some unforgotten, albeit silly, diamonds.
Wham! – Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go (1984)
Imagine a fluorescent, neon-infused rainbow thrown up on a cotton candy machine, and you’ve got the backdrop for this iconic Wham! video. It’s so bright and lively that even the darkest goth would have difficulty resisting a smile. Our daring duo, George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley, are seen prancing around in oversized shirts that boldly state ‘Choose Life’, with a fashion sense that looks like a sports clothing store exploded on them.
Add to this their dance routines, which seem like a toddler on a sugar rush choreographed them, and you’ve got a party that combines aerobics, line dancing, and a contest to swat imaginary flies. This video is a veritable masterclass in hilarity and cheesiness, symbolic of the light-hearted, let-your-hair-down spirit of the 80s.
Bonnie Tyler – Total Eclipse of the Heart (1983)
Picture a stormy evening at a haunted gothic mansion, but instead of creepy specters, you’ve got Bonnie Tyler hosting the most eclectic sleepover in the history of MTV. Among the guests are dancing ninjas, flying choir boys, and plenty of gratuitous billowing fabric that might have been stolen from a local theater’s Phantom of the Opera production.
The number of unexplained characters popping up throughout the video is so high that it feels like Bonnie’s attempting to set up her bizarre version of the Avengers. But instead of fighting villains, their main mission seems to be to outdo each other in dramatic expressions. It’s melodramatic, it’s over the top, and it’s a carnival of 80s campiness that’s too silly to ignore.
Journey – Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) (1983)
In this post-apocalyptic urban landscape, the band Journey seems to have discovered the joys of miming instruments against warehouse walls. It’s as if they’d been tasked to play a game of musical charades with the strict rule of ‘No Real Instruments Allowed’. And boy, do they take their imaginary instruments seriously! With an intensity rivaling professional athletes, they proceed to mime keyboards on walls and air guitar like there’s no tomorrow.
The dramatic stares they exchange and their total commitment to these invisible instruments make it feel like they are participating in the world’s first Air Band Championship, thus making the video a veritable Olympic event of the cheesiest variety.
Men Without Hats – Safety Dance (1982)
Ever wondered what would happen if a synth-pop band time-traveled to the medieval era? Men Without Hats seem to have the answer in this bewildering music video. In a concept so far-fetched a sleep-deprived Monty Python crew could have dreamed it up, the band sings and dances in a period village with inhabitants who look like they’ve just stepped out of a Renaissance Fair. All of them are enthusiastically performing the Safety Dance.
The sight of a jester, a maypole, and peasants dancing their hearts out to 80s music is so hilarious that it’s like the band transported a disco into the Middle Ages, introduced the villagers to the concept of a flash mob, and then filmed the glorious results.
David Hasselhoff – Jump in My Car (1988)
In this music video, David Hasselhoff, armed with his trusty sidekick KITT from “Knight Rider,” turns into the world’s most over-eager chauffeur. The video’s concept is as uncomplicated as it gets – Hasselhoff driving around, picking up women in his sentient car, delivering lines with such seriousness that you’d think he’s negotiating peace treaties instead of inviting ladies for a drive.
The exaggerated reactions and Hasselhoff’s enthusiastic performance, combined with KITT’s blink-and-you-miss-it transformations, make the video feel like a spoof of an action-packed, high-budget Hollywood blockbuster but on a shoestring budget. It’s as though “Knight Rider” got hilariously rebooted as a low-key sitcom, with Hasselhoff alternating between being an action hero and a confused Uber driver.
Rick Astley – Never Gonna Give You Up (1987)
In one fell swoop, Rick Astley tries to be James Bond, Fred Astaire, and Casanova, sporting a trench coat that’s suspiciously reminiscent of a flasher’s attire. Throughout the video, Astley, with his boyish charm and sincere expressions, dances around a variety of environments as abstract as his dance moves, making it seem like he got lost on his way to a spy convention and ended up in a music video instead.
Amid all this, he also finds the time to woo a lady who, judging by her reaction, seems as confused about the plot as we are. The combination of his unique dancing, the incoherent narrative, and the almost robotic backup dancers makes this video feel like an 80s-themed costume party on fast-forward, where everyone but Astley forgot their costumes.
Twisted Sister – We’re Not Gonna Take It (1984)
This music video features an age-old tale of rebellion and rock-and-roll but with a comedic twist that feels like a Saturday morning cartoon. A stern father, played by Mark Metcalf, chides his son for his rock-and-roll lifestyle, only to be catapulted through a window and transformed into a glam rock band member. It’s as though they took the concept of a teenage rebellion and sprinkled it with a bit of “Looney Tunes” absurdity.
The dramatic acting, the outrageously unrealistic reactions, and the drastic transformations – everything screams slapstick, and it feels like they had a contest to see how many times they could defy the laws of physics in a three-minute video.
Billy Idol – Dancing With Myself (1982)
In a video that’s a hybrid between a post-apocalyptic horror and a dance show, Billy Idol proves that zombies and dance-offs can go hand in hand. Amid a backdrop of empty buildings and hordes of zombie fans trying to reach him, Idol engages in some of the wildest dance moves ever seen on MTV.
The eccentric dancing, the carefree attitude toward his audience of the undead, and the general chaos make it seem like Idol misread the script and thought he was in a “Footloose” remake instead of a horror flick. Seeing him energetically boogying away as if being chased by zombies is just an average Tuesday night makes it a hilariously zany watch.
Duran Duran – Rio (1982)
With their flamboyant outfits and bright colors, Duran Duran members give peacocks a run for their money in this music video. Set on a yacht, the boys of Duran Duran prance around like they’re on a runaway catwalk, creating a fashion show at sea that’s a cross between “Baywatch” and “Project Runway”.
The band members’ dedication to showcasing each outrageous outfit, the pointless chase sequences, and the exaggeratedly staged beach scenes combine to make this video a slice of the 80s that’s as sumptuous and hard to digest as a triple-layered cheese pizza. Ultimately, you might wonder if they were trying to escape from an overly enthusiastic fashion designer or just racing to find a wardrobe with something other than neon.
Lionel Richie – Hello (1984)
Lionel Richie plays a professor hopelessly enamored with a blind student in this video. He spends most of the footage longingly watching her or awkwardly trying to flirt, like a teenager with a major crush. But the video highlights the grand reveal of the clay bust she sculpts of him. With a likeness so far from Richie, one might wonder if she was carving a distant cousin of Shrek instead.
The result is so hilariously mismatched to Richie that the dramatic climax feels like a sketch from a comedy show, making you think that maybe next time, Richie should consider using Skype instead of relying on sculpture for his self-portraits.
Will Vance is a professional music producer who has been involved in the industry for the better part of a decade and has been the managing editor at Magnetic Magazine since mid-2022. In that time period, he has published thousands of articles on music production, industry think pieces and educational articles about the music industry. Over the last decade as a professional music producer, Will Vance has also ran multiple successful and highly respected record labels in the industry, including Where The Heart Is Records as well as having launched a new label with a focus on community through Magnetic Magazine. When not running these labels or producing his own music, Vance is likely writing for other top industry sites like Waves or the Hyperbits Masterclass or working on his upcoming book on mindfulness in music production. On the rare chance he's not thinking about music production, he's probably running a game of Dungeons and Dragons with his friends which he has been the dungeon master for for many years.
